life unplugged

“wherever you next place your foot will determine where the path is”

Stan

We are forever at the junction of the past and the future. Every minute of every day. Not that we think about our lives in this way; conventionally this junction is simply known as ‘the present’. Or ‘now’. We very rarely see ourselves as being at a junction; most of the time we’re too consumed by our everyday lives to even think of ourselves as on a path with a past and a future.

Very occasionally we are jolted awake from our daily slumber by a momentous, usually tumultuous event. This event allows us to see the present as a gateway between what has been and what is to come. We are finally able to consider the past and the future as two independent things.

For the vast majority of the time, however, day to day life is like walking on a treadmill – a single continuum of activity during which our past footsteps disappear immediately behind us, and it is all we can do to focus on making our next footsteps equal to our last to avoid the risk of some undesirable derailment.

Every so often we should do ourselves a favour and step off the treadmill to consider alternatives to our status quo. The junction metaphor is useful because it presents us with choices. When we see the present through the lens of a decision junction, our hitherto imagined fixed path – or figurative treadmill – miraculously disappears.

You can create in your mind whatever decision junction you like, and it will look different depending on the number of choices that present themselves. The simplest may take the form of a main trunk (denoting continuation of your life unchanged) and a single fork that represents a diversion from your current trajectory.

If the status quo is not an option, then two choices may present as a T-Junction (do I go left or right?), or as a Y-Junction (representing less drastic changes than a T). Three choices or more and you could add further limbs branching off in different directions, or you might even imagine a roundabout with multiple exits.
In an extreme case you may consider a 180 degree about turn. There’s a great Turkish proverb that has helped me see the light on more than one occasion: “No matter how far you have gone down the wrong road, turn back.”

To be useful your junction must offer real choices; dreams do not offer you choices unless you can make decisions based on them and take specific actions. [note to self to practice what I preach on this point!]

It can be difficult to make life-changing decisions when you are the driver. It is all too easy to talk yourself out of taking new pathways that require courageous actions, may cause hardship, or are fraught with potential obstacles. Your mind is a well known advocate for the path of least resistance.

You will often make better decisions if you step off the trail and allow yourself to become an observer. From your observation deck you can reflect more objectively on the path that has brought you to this point, the changes you need to make, the support you may require, and the challenges that you must be prepared to face and tackle. Even then, you will still have blind spots that prevent you from asking the right questions, let alone finding answers. In such instances outsiders (with good intentions AND appropriate skills) can help to bring clarity.

And still, there are rivers to cross if you are to turn understanding into practical choices, make decisions, take positive action, and battle through the various challenges that will arise. A single bridge connects them all: resolve.

Pretty much all of life’s meaningful rewards are on the other side of your comfort zone. So there, I’m afraid, is where you might need to go. Place an order now for further reserves of resolve.

Unfortunately resolve is not easy to come by. And fear is its number one adversary. So if you fear you lack the required resolve, or if you just need a wee nudge to get you onto the next square, try saying the line at the top and bottom of this text to yourself. In a world of wall-to-wall advice from people who think they know better, it’s as simple and unequivocal as it comes. And because I am at a significant junction of my own in my life, I’m using it myself.

More later.

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